"I don’t give a shit about grand gestures or flowers at my door, I just want your teeth across my neck and my lips pressed to the small of your back, I want your stupid fucking sense of humour making me laugh at 4am when I have to be up at 6."
Ugh. I can’t even use this site anymore.
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”
Timelapse for the two-faced calfs skull being cleaned by the beetles.
I just thought it was the coolest thing ever so I tried to make a gif.
nom noM NOM NOM NOM
One day my daughter might come up to me and say, “Mom, I’m fat/ugly/whatever.”
And I will take her to the grocery store. I’ll show her all of the different sizes and shapes of her favorite fruits. And I’ll tell her, “Now, what’s more important? The way the fruit looks, or the way the fruit tastes?” And she’ll say, “Well, I guess the way they taste is more important.” And I’ll say, “That’s right. It doesn’t matter what size you are or how you look on the outside, as long as you’re sweet and delicious on the inside. Because you can be the prettiest looking apple in the whole store, but if you’re rotten on the inside then they will just spit you out.”
^ that’s a very good analogy
so remember kids
no matter what you look like on the outside
someone is still going to eat you
(Source: healthy-food, via admiralbooty)
HOW TO BE A GIANT SACK OF WORTHLESS FUCKALL - Brought to you by WVAW
1. Be the only provider of utility water for entire capital area of state
2. Place premises for treating water directly downstream from chemical plant
3. Ignore blatant safety and health hazards resulting in water contamination on a massive scale
4. REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS AS A PROBLEM
5. REFUSE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
6. REFUSE TO CHANGE ANYTHING
7. Notice less people are using your service, respond by raising rates for those customers who stayed, knowing that if they don’t use well or rain water, they have no choice but to continue your SHITASS SERVICE FOR WATER THAT’S FULL OF FUCKING GODDAMN BULLSHIT CRAZY SMELLING CHEMICALS I MEAN COME ON WHAT THE FUCK
HEY AMERICAN WATER WHY DON’T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF